Write for Grief’s Sake

When you sit down with paper and pen in hand or when you are seated in front of a keyboard take a minute, take a breath and ask yourself, “what am I feeling today.”  Then ask yourself, is that really what I am feeling or is it what I think I should be feeling?  At times, especially in grief we tend to tell ourselves that we are feeling what we think we should be feeling or what we think others would say we are feeling.  Only you can be true and authentic about your emotions/feelings during the chapter of grief in your life. 

This chapter is one that you night return to often.  It is like a book that you read time and time again and that you go back to for a remembered quote or phrase that struck you at the time.  Why?  Because grief is the side effect of loss.  We experience so many losses in our lives that often we don’t even realize that we are grieving. 

How many losses are there?  I can only speak for myself and you can only speak for yourself.  They are subjective.  I might feel a great loss of familiarity and constancy after a graduation.  You might just be glad that it is over and that you have learned something new. So now we have it!  Glad is also an emotion but did we ever think that it could be part of grief? 

Remember the phrase, “walk a mile in my shoes?” When it comes to grief only you can walk the path of loss and only in your own shoes.  It is yours alone, however you can invite a companion to share your grief story in words but mostly and most beneficially by just walking beside you.

One of the most valuable things one can do for grief’s sake is being honest. We, especially we olders, have been conditioned in a way that makes it difficult for us to admit feelings of sadness or anger or disappointment.  You know the unmentionables, the ones that we don’t think we should admit, they are not “nice.” In order to continue our lives in a wholistic way we must be honest, at least with ourselves So for grief’s sake embrace your authentic self.   

Find yourself an imaginary friend like Betty and let the ink flow or the key board sing. For grief’s sake, just do it for you.